Oh no. Look who's a War Eagletarian:
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| White House press secretary Robert Gibbs will take some time off in early January in order to see his beloved Auburn Tigers play in the BCS national title game against Oregon. "I've told my friends the only request I have is a nice Chinese restaurant for the night before the game," Gibbs said, "so that we can have some duck." Ya? Well it hurts me to say this Gibbs, but I've got your duck right here ready to give you the left wing AND the right, you Obama Care loving, bank regulating, birth certificate hiding, rich taxing, polar bear hugging, OK-to-ask-and-tell-ing pinko socialist, fascist, communist, monarchist, elitist, populist, pluralist, atheist, pacifist, alarmist, never been kissed, make me pissed (gasp, pant, pant, pant, gasp, pant, pant) . . . . . . . . . LIBERAL!!! |
White House press secretary Gibbs ready for Auburn's shot at BCS title
By Erik Brady and David Jackson, USA TODAY
WASHINGTON — Robert Gibbs lovingly placed a small statue of Aubie, Auburn University's tiger mascot, on the front of his desk at the White House Wednesday.
"You know that God is an Auburn fan," Gibbs said, smiling sunnily, "because the sun is orange and the sky is blue."
[Maybe the sun is orange in your smoggy world. But where I come from it's BRIGHT YELLOW, you pinko commie, Obama loving . . . . . OK, I'll give it a rest. ]
Gibbs grew up in Auburn, where his parents worked for the university library, and he and his brother sat in the faculty section at games. His esteem for Auburn football is so deep he'd even root for the Tigers against North Carolina State, his alma mater.
Gibbs plans to place a friendly wager with Oregon grad Sean Smith, assistant secretary for public affairs in the Department of Homeland Security. "I have as many combinations of hats, sweatshirts and jackets as our team does uniforms," Smith said.
Auburn fans hang toilet paper from old-growth oak trees at Toomer's Corner after big wins. Gibbs and his son Ethan, 7, did the same, "albeit with less toilet paper," in the tree in their front yard after games against Alabama and South Carolina. Ethan "thinks it's the greatest thing we've ever done."
Would Gibbs consider TP-ing trees at the White House if Auburn wins the national title?
"I will have to talk to the Secret Service beforehand so they know that it's simply a tradition," Gibbs said, "but that's not a bad idea."
[If he's allowed to hang toilet paper on the trees around the White House, the terrorists win!]
Look at what he hangs his orange hat on in this related article:
Gibbs will go the national championship game in Arizona with two old high school friends. "I think we win the game," he said, "because I think we have an underestimated defense."
"Underestimated defense"?!?!? After playing an entire season, how are they being underestimated? One blogger pointed out:
Auburn's defense is allowing 24.5 points per game. Clemson, Kentucky, Arkansas, Georgia and Alabama have shown it is possible to score plenty on the Tigers. Keep in mind: In the past six seasons, national champions haven't allowed over 19.9 points per game. [Oregon allowed 18.4 this season.]
In this Bleacher Report excerpt, blogger Bryan Dietzler is by no means a Duck homer; nor does he appear to follow the Ducks too much. But he seems to know football as he is a huge Chicago Bears fan. He can apparently look at these two teams and estimate Auburn's defense just fine. He has Oregon winning:
When the Ducks have the Ball
The Ducks are averaging a whopping 537 yards per game on offense with an average of 303 yards on the ground and 233 yards through the air. Their offense has been very tough to stop.
The Tigers are allowing teams to gain a total of 362 yards per game to opposing offenses. They are allowing opponents to gain 111 yards on the ground and 250 yards through the air. Their defense has had a solid season holding teams back and will face a very tough test against the Oregon Ducks.
So how does Oregon get past the Auburn defense? They have to do what they do best and start off fast. They have some great weapons in quarterback Darron Thomas and running back Lamichael James and those two need to crank it up against the Tigers defense. [What he doesn't realize is Oregon didn't always start off fast. Tennessee, Stanford, Washington, WSU, Cal . . . those were all either slow starts or otherwise mediocre first halves. If I may correct him, I'd say with all seriousness and sincerity that Oregon needs to do what they do best and simply finish with a lot more points than the opponent.]
The problems is, the Tigers can concentrate on shutting down James and that would take away a good part of the Ducks offense. Since that will probably be the case, the Ducks need to get the ball to some of their other play makers. Kenjon Barner can run the ball well and could be used often in this game (of the Tigers take out James).
Oregon could also get the ball to their wide receivers. Jeff Mahel has been spot on with his catches this season and is Thomas’ favorite target. If the Ducks can get the ball down the field to their receivers this will take less pressure off of James that would allow the Tigers to forget about him and be focused somewhere else.
As soon as they lose focus on James, he can then take advantage and come up with a big play. This would work well for the Ducks and should be something that they look into doing. [Yes this would work well. And it should be something the Ducks look into doing.
Wait a minute . . . . . . THIS IS WHAT THEY DO!!!! So I'm left scratching my head.
If Gibbs thinks everyone is underestimating his Tiger defense NOW, what is he going to think after they face the most prolific offense in the nation?]
By the way, looks like we can add Lavasier Tuinei to Oregon's options. Here's a link to the latest on him:
Oregon Ducks rundown: Receiver Lavasier Tuinei appears to be on track to return for the title game
As for Gibbs adding celebrity, if not political, star power to Auburn's side
(BREAKING NEWS: This just in. FOX News has reported that Glen Beck and Bill O'Reilly will host a rally for "God, America, and the Oregon Ducks" at Autzen Stadium in Eugene next week.), not to worry. Oregon has picked up a few celebs of their own. .
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| Who is that jogging in a Ducks cap a few weeks ago? It's none other than the lovely Reese Witherspoon. |
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| Ty Burrell from the hit comedy "Modern Family" grew up in Astoria and is a HUGE Duck fan. |
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| And here, showing off the Ducks' new uni's for the Natty, are Portland native (and former Nebraska Cornhusker) Ndamukong Suh and former Oregon State star Stephen Jackson. Both are apparently, I don't know . . . . . living out a dream? Righting a wrong, working out a regret by modeling Duck gear? Thanks but sorry guys. We'll take Witherspoon. |
About those unis. . . Have you seen them yet?
Are you sitting down?
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| This was the look on reporters faces at the unveiling of Oregon's National Championship uniforms this week in Texas. (I'm guessing she's more of a traditionalist.) |
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| Well, the gloves are nice. |
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| Looks great Mr. Knight. We've included all the elements you asked for. I don't think we forgot anything . . . . uhhh . . . . Ah oh. SCHOOL COLORS! |
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| Hey, I like day-glo neon green/yellow as much as the next guy, if the next guy happens to be an eighth grader in charge of the poster decoration committee for the Jr. High Spring Dance! |
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| "But honey, these are the shoes and socks the Ducks are wearing in the Natty. So why won't you let me wear them out of the house?!?!?!" |
By Allan Brettman, The Oregonian
ARLINGTON, Texas -- Fast, meet flash.
That was the result Tuesday as Nike unveiled the new football uniforms that the Oregon Ducks will wear next month when they play in the Bowl Championship Series national championship game.
Coach Chip Kelly, whose team's pace of play is among the most aggressive in the nation, now has uniforms designed to match.
"He wants to be known as the fastest team in the nation," said Todd Van Horne, global creative director for Nike football. He oversaw the team's latest uniform project, launched after the Civil War just 10 days ago.
What does fast look like in a football uniform?
"Speed looks like a blur," Van Horne said. "It's sleek, it's fast, it's minimal."
What's anything but minimal is the buzz surrounding the latest outfit -- a predominately white combination accented by neon yellow on the socks and shoes intended to look like a blinding streak as the nation's highest scoring team plays in the biggest game in state history. At least that must be the hope of fans, including Nike co-founder Phil Knight, when the Ducks take the field Jan. 10 against Auburn in Glendale, Ariz.
Tuesday's announcement will only add to hype around the Ducks. The event was held before a throng of reporters, with the modeling help of five NFL players (including Portland native Ndamukong Suh and former Oregon State star Stephen Jackson), with the backdrop of enormous Cowboys Stadium and the blaring of a high school marching band.
The uniform offers several bits of aesthetic flash and, for football aficionados, functional advancement. And while it will likely appear similar to the all-white road uniform the Ducks wore at USC this season -- a combination Knight has proclaimed his favorite, a victory after which he booked hotel rooms for Glendale -- Nike designers explained the latest product innovations. The bottom line: Lighter garments that are more responsive to movement and more efficient at keeping players dry.
Beyond building the hype for the on-field showdown, Tuesday's event served as a prelude to another surrounding this game. Although none of the officials from Nike, most of whom traveled to the event from the company headquarters near Beaverton, wanted to say so, one of their competitive business targets is undoubtedly Under Armour of Baltimore.
Under Armour is Auburn's equipment supplier. [Click the link in the title to see the entire article. It's kind of interesting.]
Viva la difference. And Oregon is certainly different. If any Auburn fan gives you crap about these uniforms, you can point out that what's worse than Oregon in these uni's is Oregon in these uni's while kicking Auburn's butt!
2 comments:
That is one of your all time best posts, Killer. What's even better is that my Auburn friends aren't real thrilled either. I mean how many Obama Hope and Change bumper stickers do you think you see at Auburn's stadium on a given Saturday?
"Fibbs" should have asked Axelrod before he committed to a team. They could have even worked in the whole "O" thing.
I thought you might like that, FF. Obama and Dems would do themselves a favor to adopt "Win the Day -- Fast, Hard, Finish" if they are to have a chance in 2012.
Gibbs for Auburn? Talk about conflicting messages.
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