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Chip Kelly fine with playing Washington State in Seattle,
but not every year

Published: Tuesday, October 25, 2011, 2:00 PM Updated: Tuesday, October 25, 2011, 2:11 PM
by Lindsay Schnell

EUGENE -- Just as Washington State hosted Oregon State at CenturyLink Field last Saturday — home of the Seattle Seahawks — Chip Kelly said on Tuesday that there is a possibility the Ducks will play the Cougars in Seattle next season.



But as for moving the entire series to Seattle — including when the Ducks are the home team — Kelly said he’s not interested.


“The whole deal that was presented to me was that we don’t play at home, we’d always play in Seattle,” Kelly said. “I don’t want to trade a game at Autzen Stadium. If they want to move a game, that doesn’t bother me.


"The one proposal I heard was that we got to Seattle every year: we don’t go to Pullman, but we don’t come back to Eugene, either, and I’m not in favor of that. I love playing in front of our hometown fans.”

Oregon spokesman Dave Williford said nothing official has been proposed for next season's Oregon-Washington State game, or any future games.


--Lindsay Schnell

"Hey Oregon, we at Washington State have this great idea. You'll just love it!  Why don't we play in Seattle every other year when we're the home team so you don't have to fly all the way to the bitter cold Palouse? Sound good?

Great. Then maybe you can host us in Seattle every other OTHER year! It'll give us a chance to get away from your noisy place and we can have a nice peaceful game in Washington.

Hey, we're just thinking of you, Oregon. You'll save money by not having to clean up your stadium after the game. Your fans will love it because you know how much they hate having Autzen always packed to the rim. They'll have more access to bathrooms and shorter lines at the concessions. After all, isn't that what it's all about?

It'll be like camp. A sleepover! Won't that be fun?  Oh and we forgot the best part, Oregon.
Three words: Pikes Place Market!

So shall we schedule the first game in Seattle saaaay, oh I don't know. . . . . maybeeeee tomorrow?"

COUGARS, Have you finally gone completely brain pickled? Are you over-fertilizing your barley and hops?  Do you believe with all your heart that you truly know the difference between a good idea and whatever is collecting on the bottom of your boots at this very moment?

Did you really think we were going to say, "Gee Cooter, that sounds like a pretty good deal!  Instead of playing you in Eugene where 57,000 Duck fans give Autzen it's reputation as one of the most feared stadiums in the country, we'll mosey on up to Seattle Stadium where we'll have about 20,000 Duck fans, 30,000 Cougar fans, and about 10,000 Husky fans throwing beer and garbage at all of us just because we're there. PRETTY GOOD DEAL!!!"

How about this idea, Cougs. Just for you, we're going to change the name of our stadium. To everyone else it's still Autzen. But whenever you come to Eugene -- starting tomorrow -- we'll call it something else. From now on, you, and just you, Cougs, will know Autzen as . . . . .

THE WOODSHED.

That's right. It's the place where Daddy has to take you whenever something stupid comes out of your primary face hole. You know, something like, "Duuhhh, why don't we play in Seattle instead of Eugene?"

You see, it breaks Daddy's heart whenever stupidness emanates from your big round skull. He thinks your brains have dropped down to your ass. And he loves you so he's going to have to WHACK those brains back up into your head again.

So come to the Woodshed and get your medicine, Cougs. Go there tonight, drop your pants; and you just stand there and wait for Daddy. He'll be there tomorrow at noon to show you how much he loves you.

As for your specific punishment, the current point spread is set at 35 points. I'm afraid we'll have to increase that to 47 . . . . wait, I forgot Cliff Harris won't be playing . . . .make that 49.

And in the future, stop coming to us with your silly "good ideas".  You haven't had a good idea since you invented fruit leather rollups in 1985. 

It just makes Daddy mad. And then he has to beat you more, which he hates to do. So that makes him even madder, and then he has to beat you even more. See how that works?

So you run along now, Cougs. And tomorrow at lunchtime we'll see you and give you a good righteous beating, and then you can run on home, put your butt in a sling, and we'll never have to talk about this again.

OK?

Game time: Saturday 12 noon Pacific on FSN/Root Network.