Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Arkansas, State of

INTERPRETATION IN THE QUEEN'S LANGUAGE:
(Note: The improper and vulgar word "them"
is substituted where a person of civil breeding
might use the pronouns "those" or "they".)

"Them are ducks."
"Them are NOT ducks."
"Yes them are. See them wings?"
"Well, I'll be....Them ARE Ducks!"

This will be the first meeting between Arkansas State and Oregon. In fact it is the first time Arky St. has played any Pac-12 team. I thought this would be a good opportunity to learn not just about the opponent, but the state where they reside.

Arkansas was the 25th state to join the union in 1836. Early settlers named it such because by their reckonin', it rested right smack-dab between Kansas and Arizona.  It's most notable exports are cotton, diamonds and the chicken parts used in McDonald's McNuggets.

Arkansas has the fifth lowest income level per capita in the U.S.  It's biggest employer is Wal-Mart (No joke.)  Arkansans have a love/hate relation with the federal government as they hate it in principle, yet it is their second largest employer.

During it's infancy, the state's chief commodity was slaves; but Arkansas is 81% white today. In fact Arkansas has more whites than Idaho! Arkansas has become so sophisticated with it's whiteness that it divides them into four separate categories:
Tighty White, Bright White, Not-So-Bright White, and old school Bedsheet White.

The Bright Whites go to Arkansas State -- home of the Red Wolves. And even though we may not have heard much about them, they have a good football team. They went 10-3 last year, were undefeated in the Sun Belt Conference, and recorded a losing effort in the Go Daddy Bowl.

Their quarterback, senior Ryan Aplin, is All American. They have a new head coach this year in Gus Malzahn. If he sounds familiar, he was the offensive coordinator for Auburn . . . . Yes, THAT Auburn.

During a six game win streak last season, the Red Wolves outscored their opponents 77-9 in the first quarter. Then in all their fourth quarters they kicked dirt in their opponents faces some more, outscoring them 118-41. 

Malzahn is going to install the hurry-up/no huddle offense similar to Auburn's and Oregon's. And he's got a cocky quarterback to run it.

Said Ryan Aplin in a CBS Sports story about his trip to Oregon:
"A lot of people are probably doubting us and saying we're going to get killed and whatnot, but that's just fuel to our fire," Aplin said. "We're going to go out there and give them hell and do what we do best, up-tempo, and hopefully put a shock to them."

Isn't he just adorable? I love it when QBs who have never before been to Autzen come right out all hissing and spitty with their fuzzy backs arched and their little tails all fanned out.

Frankly, I hope they do score first to get the crowd's attention.

Rob Mosley of the Register Guard talks more about Oregon's preparation in
this article.

And now, here we go . . . . .


Gametime Saturday, 7:30 Pacific on ESPN.
--kb

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