Colossus Defined (and refined)




El Coloso


This week Sports Illustrated doubled down on their cover jinx by putting Marcus Mariota on the front with the title "The Colossus", and the lines, "Oregon redefined West Coat football, now it's time to conquer America (They're coming for you, SEC)."

Thanks S.I. Way to put that target on Oregon's back with indelible oil base paint; and with Stanford up next, no less.

So OK. Let's just go with it. Stick our chins out, and as Crash Davis said in Bull Durham, "Be cocky and arrogant."  But what exactly is this "Colossus" they speak of?

I climbed the 21st century Mt. Olympus of information (Google) to get to The Oracle of modern knowledge (Wikipedia) and found two primary definitions of "The Colossus." The first was one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, "The Colossus of Rhodes", a 100-foot tall statue of a strong dude holding a lamp near Greece circa 260 BC. But that didn't seem to fit this narrative.

The second reference was the painting shown at the top. And as soon as I saw it, I got it. From the famous Spanish painter Francisco De Goya, The Colossus, or El Coloso, and also called El Panico (The Panic) and El Tormenta (The Storm), is an image of a giant seen beyond the hills who looks to be in a bad mood. In the valley below, we see the little people, the rabble and their livestock all panicking and fleeing in hopes of getting away before El Coloso turns his attention toward them.

Let me take this moment and say that it's been years since I had an SI subscription, let alone read it regularly. I grew tired of the East Coast bias and sloppiness with local detail. This is indeed an interesting SI story about the shift of power from USC and UCLA to Oregon and Stanford. Nevertheless it had one line in it saying for all of Phil Knight's philanthropy to Oregon, he has "kept his name off the architecture" in Eugene. 

That suggests to me that even if writer Austin Murphy visited Autzen and surrounding facilities, he never ventured onto campus where he would've walked past the Matt Knight Basketball Arena, past the Knight Library, and over to the Knight Law Center where he could have found a cozy quiet spot to write his story. And then if he caught a connecting flight out of Portland, he could have looked up on a hill and spied the Knight Cancer Institute at OHSU. It's just another typical case of poor, lazy journalism intermixed with otherwise good writing.

But back to the painting and the cover, what SI is suggesting is that Oregon's style -- both the play on the field and the successful marketing off the field -- is taking the country by storm (El Tormenta). As you look again, you can see how this image can apply to what may appear before our eyes starting tonight and through the winter.

Looking in the distance (Let's say westward.), we see the giant looming beyond a mountain range (Let's say the Rockies). His attention is presently turned in another direction (Perhaps maybe let's say . . . . southward, towards Palo Alto.) where he has some unfinished business to, uhhh. . . . FINISH.

The folks in the valleys and plains below fear what is about to happen to The Farm, as El Coloso Pato (The Giant Duck) will turn the Cardinal into a sea of red. (???)  And they can only hope that this will buy them time to run and hide.

If you were to look closer at the scurrying figures at the bottom of the image (But don't bother looking too close because I just didn't have time to Photoshop some stuff down there like I wanted, although it would've made the refinement of this masterpiece even more awesome.), you could definitely see some Sooner schooners speeding and Longhorns stampeding. With a little imagination (again, because I just didn't have the time...) you can perhaps see amongst the panicking horde at least three tigers, a wolverine, a large chestnut, some guys husking corn, a drunken feisty Irishman, a gator, at least one American Native who, for the purposes of not offending them, shall not be specifically identified, unless they don't mind at all, which in that case would be the Seminoles; a gator, an aggie, a red raider, at least one bear, maybe even a turtle. . . . and in the center of it all, one big obnoxious red elephant.

If it all turns out well, El Coloso Pato will be completed, enlarged and hung over my fireplace. Perhaps yours too? Place your orders.

WHY OREGON WILL BEAT STANFORD
I was expecting Oregon to be favored, perhaps by 3. I was surprised to see the spread at 10-1/2. But I think everyone is looking at one glaring fact.

Stanford is injured. Oregon is not.

According to this Oregonian story, Stanford's powerful defense took a huge hit when they lost their starting Defensive End Ben Gardner to a torn muscle against Oregon State. They are hoping to get back another starting DE, Henry Anderson, after he missed six weeks with a knee injury.

That right there reveals a problem. It's one thing to be back from injury able to play. But it's a whole 'nother matter to come back from six weeks of rehab and be healthy and conditioned enough to play against the rapid, powerful, and unrelenting wave that is the Oregon offense.

Stanford receiver Devon Cajuste is also injured. And while their much heralded receiver Ty Montgomery will play, is he at full strength? Reports were he was fighting pain in his lower body as late as last week. Against Oregon State he only had 3 catches for 55 yards and no TD's. Stanford is also down one kicker.

Don't get me wrong, the Cardinal are still potent. But while they're dealing with those issues, DeAnthony Thomas is healthy, eager to go, and promising 40 points. He only played the first half against UCLA before his ankle got sore again. I'm just wondering what if he plays one half again, this time the second?

Another factor in Oregon's favor: The most valuable person on Oregon's sideline that Stanford didn't face last year, Passing Coach Matt Lubick. Rated the best offensive coordinator of the year last year when Helfrich picked him up, Lubick has helped to stretch the field and give Mariota some spot-on downfield targets this year.

Last year, Stanford was successful in forcing Oregon into third and long. This year, third and long -- hell, even fourth and long -- are just other downs.

When Ken Goe asked San Jose Merc writer Jon Wilner "How is this Stanford team different from last year's team (that beat Oregon 17-14)?", Wilner started his answer, "Actually it's fairly similar." And he's right. After their loss to Utah, Stanford has worked to become about as good as they were last year.

But the bottom line is this. Oregon this year is flat out better than Oregon of last year. Mariota is better. DAT is better. Marshall is better. All the receivers are better. The defense is better. The kickers are . . . . . The defense is better!  And along with the addition of Coach Lubick, the Ducks have enjoyed the new talents of RB Thomas Tyner and Tight Ends Pharoah Brown and Johnny "The Mundster" Mundt.

Furthermore, the day after their loss to Stanford last year, Mariota led the team in studying, analyzing and learning what they did wrong in that game. They have been chomping at the bit ever since that day to make things right.

DAT's 40-point comment wasn't just loud mouth blathering. It was confidence. It was eagerness. He is picturing in his mind what he and his teammates are ready to do. And we know exactly how the Ducks will conquer the Cardinal because we have already seen them do it.

First down. "Oh you stopped the Ducks? Congratula-- ah oh, here comes second down. . . Incomplete! Hold that high-five, they just snapped the ball for third down . . . Gain of nine. HA, a yard short! Head for the Gatorade, they're done. WHAT? They're going for it!. . . . TOUCHDOWN!!!"

That's one series. Cram a bunch of those in one quarter. Then the second quarter. Still holding them? Good job. Here comes the third quarter. The game is still winnable. And look they're bringing in their third string bench warmer Thomas Tyner. . . .  

It is relentless.  Stanford can feel as good as they want about what they got away with last year. But all they did was kick a giant in the shin. Now he's coming. His shadow looms over the valley. And he doesn't stop. Doesn't hesitate. No mercy. No rest.

He pursues. He overwhelms. He suffocates. Finally, he crushes. And the lone tall tree, the Palo Alto, snaps in his fingers and digs in his molar to clear out whatever memory of last year's small Stanford victory was left.

In the end, that victory bore not a reward, but a terrible price. The wrath of

THE COLOSSUS.

Now crank it and stomp around your office like a big green, fire breathing monster!

Game time: Thursday, 6 pm Pacific on ESPN
--KB

Who'll Stop the Reign?

Photos from Oregonian, SF Chronicle, and SI.

The injury to DeAnthony Thomas, the monsoon-like weather, and Cal's defense holding the Ducks scoreless in the fourth quarter -- it all added up to Oregon's offense being held to its lowest score of the season: 55 points.

No one would've asked Oregon to score 50-plus under those unbelievable conditions. But they, nevertheless, asked it of themselves. This is one tough team.

In today's Oregonian article, Mental toughness just another part of the Ducks' impressive repertoire, center Hroniss Grasu said,
“A lot of other teams could have made excuses with this weather,’’ Grasu said. “But I think our team did a great job of keeping out the distractions of the weather, and just go out and play Oregon football. We set a standard for ourselves, and I think we met that standard.’’

Granted, Oregon had as many fumbles as Cal in the 1st quarter (Four each), but lost none of them. And to running back Byron Marshall's credit, who had three of those drops in his first three carries, he figured it out and secured the ball better to finish the game with 130 yards and two TD's.

Bralon Addison, who had two amazing punt returns for TD's, added this:
Receiver Bralon Addison,.... said head coach Mark Helfrich began establishing a mindset as early as Monday, when the weather forecasts started coming in. Every day, Addison said, Helfrich addressed the weather and delivered a variation of his message: You can’t worry about what you can’t control.

“I thought we showed a lot of discipline and maturity,’’ Addison said. “They said it was one of the worst rainy days in Eugene in some time and we didn’t put our heads down.’’

Cal putting their heads down.

Poor Goff . . .

. . . just could not hold that slippery rock.

While Cal's freshman QB Jared Goff had an absolutely terrible time just holding on to the ball, let alone throwing it, Marcus Mariota and his receivers seemed to play as if the skies were clear and calm for most of the evening. He finished 11 for 25 for 114 yards, 2 TD's, no interceptions plus one rushing TD.

Darryle Hawkins, Josh Huff, Bralon Addison
and the other receivers handled the ball superbly
given the conditions.

Said Mariota in this SI article,
"I've been playing in the rain since I was a little kid. Hawaii has its passing showers," the sophomore quarterback said. "So it really doesn't bother me."

Watching you play like that, Marcus, none of the 50,000 soaking wet Duck fans were bothered by the rain that night.

What rain?

Even Hipster Duck likes it.

How's DAT?
We all saw the way DeAnthony Thomas twisted his ankle. He was clearly injured. It was wise for the staff to put him in a boot, give him a crutch and declare him done for the day.

I'm not a doctor, but I am no stranger to diagnosing myself from stuff I read on WebMD. And since we know that we will not hear word one from Oregon about his condition, what the hell . . . 

Looking at the moment of that twist, I believe it won't be a long rehab. DAT twisted the outer ligaments to their limit, but it was a sideways twist and not like he came down on it with all of his weight.

We may not see him at Colorado, and frankly I hope we don't. The Ducks don't need DAT to beat the Buffs.

Ducks got his back.

They might need him the week following against the Huskies; but if they can spare him that week too, he can go a whole two additional weeks until UCLA comes to town.

Besides, Marshall is establishing himself. And freshman Thomas Tyner is surpassing all expectations. There's no sense in making DAT play at 70 or 80%. Let him heal and be good to go for the second half of the season.


Who's fired? ME?!?!?!
I once heard a manager say that if the person you're firing acts completely shocked like he's the last person in the company to suspect he might be fired, then you made a good decision.

USC's AD Pat Haden did not even wait for Lane Kiffin to get back to campus after their loss at ASU. He met the plane at the airport at 3 a.m. to tell Kiffin that one of them needed to sleep better at night.

Poor Kiffin didn't even
have his dad to blame.

What astonished me was the report that Kiffin then spent 45 minutes trying to defend his performance and keep his job.

Hey Kiffin, you've lost 7 of your last 11 games. You're 0 for 2 in league play consisting of a home loss to the second tiered Cougars, and another team (Does it matter who?) that hung 62 points on your sorry Trojans. 62 POINTS!!!

Why SHOULDN'T you get fired? You should've been thanking Haden for letting you fly back on the plane.



Next: Oregon at Colorado, Saturday 3pm Pacific.
--KB

Lighting it up.

People on the East Coast saw a spectacular sight last week.
They saw Oregon light up the scoreboard and rocket past
one of their traditional powerhouses.
(See what I did there? Light up? Rocket?
You thought I was going to talk about . . . . OK, moving on.)

It looked like it was going to be a long tough game. It looked like Virginia was going to shut down Oregon. The Ducks were struggling -- for four plays.

Then Marcus Mariota demonstrated his Heismaness. Although his stats were relatively pedestrian (14-28, 2TDs, 0 int. 199 yards), he set the tone and led the way, starting with that 71-yard keeper up the middle for the first score. Said Scott Frost on calling the draw play.
"We were hoping to get a certain coverage and we did and he read it right," said offensive coordinator Scott Frost, adding it was a play in UO's original game plan after seeing a weakness of Virginia's "man free" defense during video study. "Man free is kind of feast or famine ... but when you hit them they're going to be big plays." 

Video of selected plays over whole game. Mariota's rushing TD is featured with replays near beginning.



 From that point on when Virginia stopped one play, Oregon had another. The Cavs couldn't plug every hole. And they certainly couldn't stop DeAnthony Thomas.

Whenever Virginia fans had seen anything blow by as fast
as DAT in the past, it usually had the word "Hurricane" in
front of it's name.

Photos from Oregonian.

"Oh cheer up, Lyerla. Ya big goober.
Just know that we got your back.
And if you drop any more balls,
we'll slap that back pink."

Even with Colt Lyerla dropping three out of four passes thrown to him and starting running back Byron Marshall carrying the ball 15 times for only 31 yards, the Ducks still found ways to get the ball out of Virginia's hands (three interceptions, a blocked punt and one fumble recovery) and into the hands of a their own playmakers (Five Ducks scored touchdowns.) to put 59 points on the board -- a score beyond most anyone's expectations.


As time wore on, so did Virginia. All fired up and flying in the first quarter, they were clearly gassed by the third. The fast pace and constant guessing of who had the ball took its toll.

Virginia's offensive line is doing such a good
job blocking that they don't even notice
Tony Washington has separated their QB
from the ball.

Dior Mathis returns an interception 97 yards.
More like 105 when you count where he picked
the ball deep in the endzone.

Then Oregon did something downright mean. Included in their package of

Tyner. Brutal.

benchwarmers to play in the fourth quarter was their third string freshman running back. Five star recruit Thomas Tyner carried the ball just four times, but punished the tired Cavalier defense for 51 yards and two touchdowns.

As amazing as the win was, the story of what happened in the locker room afterwards was even amazinger. Under the leadership of Helfrich, the players criticized their own performance. They expressed dissatisfaction with 11 penalties for 105 yards including way too many personal fouls. Here is an excerpt from Monday's great Oregonian story by Jason Quick

Some members of the offense didn’t like the four sequences when the Ducks went three-downs-and-out. Or the shoddy execution deep in the red zone, which included a botched shovel pass from Marcus Mariota and Byron Marshall unable to gain a yard on fourth and goal from the one.
Even the defense, which endured 86 plays in 80 degree heat, lamented a missed arm tackle here, a jock strap left there, and damage all around from Virginia’s tight ends. [Note to Ken Goe: Could you do us a favor and follow up on that 'jock strap' story?]

Coach Mark Helfrich summed up their self assessment this way . . .
"We want to be perfect. We want to be great. We want to be elite," head coach Mark Helfrich said. 

The team is hurrying the offense even faster this year than last. They are critiquing themselves. They practice as hard as ever. They talk to the younger guys about the "Oregon Way" of doing things to create a proper attitude and culture.

These are a group of super mature and focused guys who don't wait around for the coach to tell them how to prepare, how to play or how to behave. They know what they want, and it ain't another Rose Bowl or Fiesta Bowl.
  “We look at other teams that say, ‘I can’t wait to get to the Rose Bowl’ and we are like ‘What? Is that really a goal for people?’’’ [left tackle Tyler] Johnstone said. “That’s like, not a failed season obviously, but it’s not where we want to be headed.’’

"Strange man from another planet."
If the score didn't make Virginia fans head for the exits early,
Josh Huff's Superman pose most certainly did.

Ya. I love my Ducks.

OTHER TEAMS
Is Washington State that good, or is USC that bad?  After playing Auburn tough down south, the Cougs posted a major upset over an anemic Trojan offense. With ferocious 'D' and patient 'O', WSU beat USC 10-7 at The Coliseum. Cranberry and gold-clad mobs were seen walking the streets of L.A. with a rope tie for Lame Kiffin's neck.

The Cal Bears fought hard at home to come from behind and defeat the always tough . . . . . (wait for it) . . . Portland State Vikings. At one point the Viks led 20-10, but couldn't hang on as the Bears escaped with a 37-30 win. New Cal coach Sonny Dykes said of Portland State, "We were fortunate to win. They outplayed us and outcoached us."

Cheer up Sonny. Maybe Portland State will be the toughest team you face all year.

CALL THEM THE PHILADELPHIA DUCKS
Everybody is talking about the game last night when Chip Kelly debuted his style on Monday Night Football as his Eagles defeated the Redskins 33-27.

The Eagles ran 53 plays in the first half. By Duck standards, that's about average. In the NFL, that's a marathon sprint.

Ken Goe and the Oregonian have done a great job gathering all the stories, videos and quotes here, including the significant Oregon connection in Philly.

"TENNESSEE FOOTBALL IS TENNESSEE FOOTBALL."
That's what Coach Helfrich said. Not sure what it means; but when you sing it to the tune of Rocky Top, it sounds downright scary.

More on the Vols in the days to come.

The Fieggens were at the Virginia game.
That's Bruce with the 3/4 selfie, the twins Jack and Liam,
Connor, and there's Kathy waving.
Connor is enrolled to go to Oregon this fall!!!
Study hard, Connor. Oregon's a really difficult school . . .
. . . .OK not so much, but study hard anyway.

--kb

Moments to Remember

Photos from AP sources.

Days later I woke up and thought, No I'm not dreaming. Oregon won it's second consecutive BCS Bowl. Here's another look.

Oregon’s offense was supposed to be the difference maker, but it was the Ducks’ defense that was the story of the game. It limited K-State to 283 yards and had it not been for a pass interference call in the first half, the Wildcats’ only touchdown in the first 48:25 might have been averted.
That is from a story by Bob Lutz of the Wichita Eagle, which stands in sharp contrast to Kansas State running back John Hubert's comment that Oregon's defense were a bunch of prima donnas.

Oregon held Hubert to 55 yards on 17 carries. Senior running back Angelo Pease had 47 yards. Honorable Mention Heisman candidate and QB Collin Klein was dishonored with 30 yards rushing on 13 carries, only 151 yards passing with no TD's and two interceptions.

Here are a few photos of Oregon's "prima donnas" at work.

I count four or five "prima donnas" eager to hug
their old friend Chris Harper.

Prima donnas Hill and Jackson are giving
Harper something to think about other than
the ball -- like "Is this landing going to hurt?"



In the second half, Eric Dargan
prima donnas four feet off the ground
like a freakin' ballerina to snag a rare
pick from Heisman candidate QB
Calvin Klein.




And prima donna linebacker Kiko Alonso sacks Klein so hard,
he brings down the QB's family.



Speaking of which, a note to Mrs. Klein.
Having married into a family of hair dressers,
I can say with competence that if there's ever a
chance you're going to have your picture taken,
Honey, you have GOT TO color those roots.

As for the offense, Marcus Mariota got off to a sluggish start before heating up and earning himself the Offensive Player of the Game Award.

Flyin' Hawaiian leaves 'Cats cryin'.
(Ha Ha . . . I just thought of that. Just now!!!)

Kenjon Barner was his usual spectacular self with 143 yards rushing plus a key TD reception to end the first half and make K. State go to the locker room feeling small and inadequate.  

In a beautiful delayed pass play where Mariota and Barner both
recognize that the defenders have neglected him for a moment,
Barner gets wide open and, with the help of excellent blocking,
sees nothing but purple endzone.

And then there's DeAnthony Thomas. What more can you say about DAT? Did you see the look on all the Kansas State fans' faces when he ran back the opening kickoff? Kansas folk never seen a space shuttle launch before.

I think I'll put this video on my desktop to click whenever I need a boost. One technical note: The clock stopped two seconds after DAT "broke the tape" at the finish . . . or goal line. It took about 10 seconds for him to run that 95 yards. Someone estimated he was going 26.5 mph. That's fast.

Like most teams, Kansas State quickly discovered that they
just don't have the personnel to keep Thomas out of the endzone.
This was his second score; and just like "dat", K State was down 0-15.

I have to wonder if the Wildcats became a little stunned after that opening TD. They might have thought, "Was Oregon really going to score every time they touched the ball?". Perhaps on paper Oregon was only eight points better than KSU as the odds predicted. But their jump to an early lead proved to be self fulfilling prophecy. Kansas State couldn't catch them and they knew it.

A FEW MORE OBSERVATIONS THRU PHOTOS

When the 'O' is flyin' and K State fans are not,
you can guess what's happened.

A lot of players have deliberately flashed the Heisman pose,
but Barner naturally twisted into this perfect "huck and buck"
in the middle of traffic. But if they ever decide to adopt a new
trophy for the Heisman . . . .

Now THAT's a pose. That's a statue.
DAT's taking the opening kickoff across the goal line is
"The Flying Duck".

More trophy pics.
Gold-flek paint and rhinestones never looked so beautiful.

Coach Kelly to Defensive Player of the Game Michael Clay,
"I love you, Man!"

War Eagle!

WAR DUCK!!!

Speaking of mascots:
Kansas State, yours scares children.

And so after three 12-win seasons, three Pac-10/12 Championships and winning two for four consecutive BCS bowls, Oregon fans should spend this time to reflect on these best days to be a Duck. Who knows what the future holds. But we won't fret. It's not our style. For in these four years, someone taught us to not worry about the future or the past, but just "Win The Day".

No Chip, YOU the Man!

But if you still feel sadness or anxiety for the future, I invite you to read the following Oregonian article that puts things in a good perspective: Chip Kelly must do what's best for Chip Kelly

Still pining for Chip to stay? You can sing with the following Eugene songwriter and Duck fan who shares your pain. Very funny.



--KB

Wounded Ducks?

Oregon lost to Stanford. Oregon State crushed Cal. The Beavers clearly have the momentum going into the Civil War. No doubt they'll be licking their chompers when the Ducks come to Reser Bean Dip Stadium.

But I'd like to tell them a story about another team. There was once a team named Alabama. Alabama plodded their way successfully through the season, undefeated and #1, until one day a team caught them and beat them.

The following week, 'Bama clobbered their next opponent 49-0.

The end.

Oregon State is dealing with a wounded Duck here. And you know what they say, a wounded Duck is the most dangerous animal in the wild.

Ya, OK, I know they don't say that. And the real illustration of a wounded duck is that of a hunting dog eminently running it down and biting it's neck. But I'm trying to make a point here.

Actually I'll let John Hunt of the Oregonian talk about how Oregon State ain't no Stanford in his story a few days ago: A blueprint to stop Oregon? There is no magic formula, Mike Riley says


In it, Chip Kelly makes the simple observation:
"They're [OSU defense] built differently,'' Kelly said. "They're four-down (linemen). That's a lot different than what we faced last week.''


That's not to say the Beavs don't have a good D. It's also not to say that Oregon's efforts kind of played into Stanford's hands last week. In what might be a foreshadowment to his approach in Corvallis, Kenjon Barner gives his version of what happened against the Cardinal in Rob Moseley's blog.

Oregon senior running back Kenjon Barner is a patient runner who can wait for holes to develop and then quickly cut upfield, but last week against Stanford he might have taken that too far.


Barner ran for 66 yards in the Ducks' loss to the Cardinal, after running for 65 at Cal the week before. Prior to that he'd run for 321 yards at USC, often running to the outside and then breaking through gaps for big gains, but the holes weren't quite as apparent against Stanford.

"I feel like there was a couple plays that I could have just hit it, rather than being patient and looking for something," Barner said today. "Because I feel like in a game like that you can't really be patient. With a front seven like they have, you really don't have time to be patient.

"I feel like at times I was a little too patient -- kind of sat back, waited for something to happen, and it never did. I feel like that kind of cost us on a couple plays."

Barner gained those 66 yards on 21 carries. He was playing for the second straight game with a thumb injury suffered at California, which UO running backs coach Gary Campbell said Barner may have been trying to protect at times last week.

Against Oregon State, the Ducks will face another solid front seven, led by a pair of talented young defensive ends in Dylan Wynn and Scott Crichton.

"They're strong, two strong, physical guys," Barner said. "We watch film and I see them driving guys back, driving them into the backfield, shedding blocks well and making plays. We'll definitely have to be aware of those two."

And then there's the other ball carrier. Oregonian's Adam Jude shares my sentiments exactly in his story with the title: Oregon Ducks rundown: Here's a simple solution for the Oregon offense -- give the ball to De'Anthony Thomas


Or as Keyshawn Johnson once authored, "JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BALL!".  DAT is too sweet of a guy to say that; but if the Ducks are looking muddy in Cow Valley, let's hope some Duck fans shout it out for him.

If the Ducks thought they were ready to play and determined to win every game before, they definitely are now. The Beavs will be hosting a 10-1 team with their backs against the wall. These ARE dangerous Ducks.

As Rivalry games go, however, what happens when you take away the records, throw out the history, toss out the X's and O's, forget the locker room talk, and never mind the bowl implications? What are you left with?  You know . . . .

\/
\/
\/

STUPID RIVAL TEAM JOKES

OSU Coach Mike Riley on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."


________________________________________

Why do Oregon State fans wear orange?



So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

________________________________________

What does the average Oregon State player get on his SATs?



Drool.

________________________________________

How many Oregon State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?



None. That's a sophomore course.

_________________________________________

How did the Beaver football player die from drinking milk?



The cow fell on him.

_________________________________________

Two Oregon State football players were walking in the woods.



One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."



The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

_________________________________________

An Oregon State football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.



He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.



Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

________________________________________

What do you say to a Beaver football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "



"Will the defendant please rise?"

____________________________________

If three Oregon State football players are in the same car, who is driving?



The police officer.

________________________________________
[I love this one.]
How can you tell if an Oregon State football player has a girlfriend?



There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

_________________________________________

What do you get when you put 32 Oregon State cheerleaders in one room?



A full set of teeth.

________________________________________

Coach Riley said he is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

________________________________________

Why did the Oregon State linebacker steal a police car?



He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

________________________________________

How do you get a former OSU football player off your porch?



Pay him for the pizza.

________________________________________

What are the longest three years of a Oregon State football player’s life?



Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

________________________________________

When the Mississippi football player listed his Church affiliation, he wrote down ' "the red brick one"

________________________________________

Then there was the OSU player who applied for a job at Taco Bell, he thought he was applying at the Mexican phone company.

Oregon at Oregon State, Saturday Noon Pacific on the Pac-12 Network.

Here are the other games Duck fans will also want to pay attention to:

Georgia Tech at #3 Georgia: 9 a.m. ESPN

Auburn @ #2 Alabama: 12:30 CBS

#4 Florida @ Florida State 12:30 ABC

Stanford @ UCLA 3:30 FOX

Notre Dame @ USC 5:00 ABC

--KB