IT'S HIS HEISMAN, MAN.

WELCOME WISCONSINNERS
Before I start, I want to welcome two new subscribers, P.M and J.M., from Wisconsin. To make them feel a part of our blog family, I'd like to talk a little about two of their very favorite teams on the rise.

The Green Bay Packers and Wisconsin Badgers. Both of these teams have taken the lead in their respective conferences and control their own destinies.

Watching these two teams last weekend, I noticed five common traits. One of the more interesting . . .

OK that's enough welcoming.

TO BE HONEST, BEAVER ROADKILL IS KIND OF SAD


I mean what can you say? Marcus Mariota immortalized himself by jumping over a hapless Beaver while pushing down on his head like a rude boyfriend. He did a Heisman pose as he was serving a Beaver a face-load of his junk.

That's not even funny. It's just pathetic.

In the first game of the season, Oregon State fell behind Portland State at halftime. They looked terrible. It looked like the season opener the year before when they were stunned by Eastern Washington. They eventually won, but that first half had Beaver fans everywhere with their faces in their palms.

At the time, I put up a Facebook post: "Beavers, I used to laugh at you. Now I just pity you." And immediately I got an angry retort from a Beaver fan that it was too soon to be that cruel.

So I didn't say another word about the Beavers for the rest of the season.

Until now.

Beavers, take a look around and ask yourself if you're happy with your team. Did that effort look . . . . . . .even like effort? Are you still OK with Coach Riley and his "Aww Shucks, Gee Willickers" apparent settling for mediocrity?

Heh heh...haw haw...I mean...
WOW! Was that a trip to the woodshed or what?
My britches are still burnin'....
Whoo boy .... Heh heh....

After watching the Beavers fall to 5-7 for the season, the real question to be begged is, How in the world did they win five?

When I look at the Beavers, I see uninspired players struggling with a boring and predictable playbook. How much longer will they put up with this?

Another Beaver humbly prays
at the Failing Wall of Reser Stadium.

IT IS NOW A BONAFIDE NOBRAINER.
Traditional voters for the Heisman are now saying that the race is pretty much over. And Teddy Mitrosilis of FOX Sports is even calling for a unanimous vote for Mariota. Here is an excerpt:
Mariota went 19-of-25 for 367 yards and four TDs (no picks), while adding another 39 yards and two TDs on the ground.
This stat is insane: Mariota now has 47 total TDs to only two interceptions on the season. TWO! He also leads the country in yards per attempt at 10.4 and is completing 68.6 percent of his passes (sixth in the nation and about 2 percent better than Jameis Winston last year when he ran away with the Heisman).
He’s playing quarterback as well as it can be played, and no disrespect to Melvin Gordon, who’s had an incredible year at RB for Wisconsin, but Mariota should become the first unanimous Heisman Trophy winner of all time. He deserves to get every single first-place vote.

This is an unreal experience for Duck fans. Sure, players in the past have been mentioned as Heisman candidates, a couple even took the trip to New York. But to see one of our own play at such a high level and most importantly, stay healthy (KNOCK WOOD!), to reach this pinnacle is truly amazing.


Also, Marcus Mariota was just named Pac-12 Player of the Year. His sidekick, RB Royce Freeman was named Pac-12 Freshman of the Year.

NEXT POST: "Of course you realize . . . ."

The Ducks have a return engagement with Arizona. Whenever any reporters were able to get Oregon players off to a corner to ask them who they REALLY wanted to play in the Pac-12 Championship, there was no two ways about it. Mariota and Company are getting exactly the opponent they wanted.

Oh we are awake. Yes sir.
WE. ARE. A. WAKE.
And you are going to RUE THE DAY
that you jostled our crib!!!

 

More on Arizona later.

--KB

 

Wounded Ducks?

Oregon lost to Stanford. Oregon State crushed Cal. The Beavers clearly have the momentum going into the Civil War. No doubt they'll be licking their chompers when the Ducks come to Reser Bean Dip Stadium.

But I'd like to tell them a story about another team. There was once a team named Alabama. Alabama plodded their way successfully through the season, undefeated and #1, until one day a team caught them and beat them.

The following week, 'Bama clobbered their next opponent 49-0.

The end.

Oregon State is dealing with a wounded Duck here. And you know what they say, a wounded Duck is the most dangerous animal in the wild.

Ya, OK, I know they don't say that. And the real illustration of a wounded duck is that of a hunting dog eminently running it down and biting it's neck. But I'm trying to make a point here.

Actually I'll let John Hunt of the Oregonian talk about how Oregon State ain't no Stanford in his story a few days ago: A blueprint to stop Oregon? There is no magic formula, Mike Riley says


In it, Chip Kelly makes the simple observation:
"They're [OSU defense] built differently,'' Kelly said. "They're four-down (linemen). That's a lot different than what we faced last week.''


That's not to say the Beavs don't have a good D. It's also not to say that Oregon's efforts kind of played into Stanford's hands last week. In what might be a foreshadowment to his approach in Corvallis, Kenjon Barner gives his version of what happened against the Cardinal in Rob Moseley's blog.

Oregon senior running back Kenjon Barner is a patient runner who can wait for holes to develop and then quickly cut upfield, but last week against Stanford he might have taken that too far.


Barner ran for 66 yards in the Ducks' loss to the Cardinal, after running for 65 at Cal the week before. Prior to that he'd run for 321 yards at USC, often running to the outside and then breaking through gaps for big gains, but the holes weren't quite as apparent against Stanford.

"I feel like there was a couple plays that I could have just hit it, rather than being patient and looking for something," Barner said today. "Because I feel like in a game like that you can't really be patient. With a front seven like they have, you really don't have time to be patient.

"I feel like at times I was a little too patient -- kind of sat back, waited for something to happen, and it never did. I feel like that kind of cost us on a couple plays."

Barner gained those 66 yards on 21 carries. He was playing for the second straight game with a thumb injury suffered at California, which UO running backs coach Gary Campbell said Barner may have been trying to protect at times last week.

Against Oregon State, the Ducks will face another solid front seven, led by a pair of talented young defensive ends in Dylan Wynn and Scott Crichton.

"They're strong, two strong, physical guys," Barner said. "We watch film and I see them driving guys back, driving them into the backfield, shedding blocks well and making plays. We'll definitely have to be aware of those two."

And then there's the other ball carrier. Oregonian's Adam Jude shares my sentiments exactly in his story with the title: Oregon Ducks rundown: Here's a simple solution for the Oregon offense -- give the ball to De'Anthony Thomas


Or as Keyshawn Johnson once authored, "JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN BALL!".  DAT is too sweet of a guy to say that; but if the Ducks are looking muddy in Cow Valley, let's hope some Duck fans shout it out for him.

If the Ducks thought they were ready to play and determined to win every game before, they definitely are now. The Beavs will be hosting a 10-1 team with their backs against the wall. These ARE dangerous Ducks.

As Rivalry games go, however, what happens when you take away the records, throw out the history, toss out the X's and O's, forget the locker room talk, and never mind the bowl implications? What are you left with?  You know . . . .

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STUPID RIVAL TEAM JOKES

OSU Coach Mike Riley on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."


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Why do Oregon State fans wear orange?



So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

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What does the average Oregon State player get on his SATs?



Drool.

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How many Oregon State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?



None. That's a sophomore course.

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How did the Beaver football player die from drinking milk?



The cow fell on him.

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Two Oregon State football players were walking in the woods.



One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."



The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

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An Oregon State football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.



He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.



Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

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What do you say to a Beaver football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "



"Will the defendant please rise?"

____________________________________

If three Oregon State football players are in the same car, who is driving?



The police officer.

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[I love this one.]
How can you tell if an Oregon State football player has a girlfriend?



There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

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What do you get when you put 32 Oregon State cheerleaders in one room?



A full set of teeth.

________________________________________

Coach Riley said he is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

________________________________________

Why did the Oregon State linebacker steal a police car?



He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

________________________________________

How do you get a former OSU football player off your porch?



Pay him for the pizza.

________________________________________

What are the longest three years of a Oregon State football player’s life?



Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

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When the Mississippi football player listed his Church affiliation, he wrote down ' "the red brick one"

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Then there was the OSU player who applied for a job at Taco Bell, he thought he was applying at the Mexican phone company.

Oregon at Oregon State, Saturday Noon Pacific on the Pac-12 Network.

Here are the other games Duck fans will also want to pay attention to:

Georgia Tech at #3 Georgia: 9 a.m. ESPN

Auburn @ #2 Alabama: 12:30 CBS

#4 Florida @ Florida State 12:30 ABC

Stanford @ UCLA 3:30 FOX

Notre Dame @ USC 5:00 ABC

--KB

You heard 'em Ducks. EVERYTHING

DAT's punt return is at the 27-second mark if you just want to watch that again and again.



REALLY BEAVERS, REALLY?
Before I talk about Saturday's game at USC, I need to say something to Oregon State.

Hey Beavs. You're probably still mad about that loss last week, and we all know exactly why. It wasn't just a loss. It was a loss to the Huskies.

It hurts doesn't it? It feels like you haven't eaten in two days, and then somebody punches you in the stomach and kicks it again after you're down.

You feel this because you let Washington hang around and believe they were as good as you. You saw their barking fans work themselves into a foaming lather. You saw their players jumping up and down like you were unlocking their kennel.

Beavs, you had beaten UDumb seven of the last eight seasons. Oregon has beaten them nine straight. And yet unfortunately we are reminded what happens when any of us -- WSU included -- takes the foot off their throats for even just a minute.

The obnoxiousness returns like it's 1990 all over again. Their goonery instantly comes out with the cheap shots and unsportsman-like conduct.

Even the purple-shirted refs were back as they somehow
missed this vicious helmet-to-helmet on Wheaton.

If you had to lose Beavs, why oh why did it have to be to them? You know what I always say: "The only way to shut up barking Dawgs is to beat 'em." But no. You gave them voice. They believe again. They think that their own poop tastes good, and now once again, they're going to expect the rest of us to eat it.   

Listen. You can hear them from all the way up there. Oh the noise of barking Dawgs. That annoying, undying, shrill, grating chorus of yaps with no purpose or quality because it's driven by the stupid, tiny, imbeciled brains . . .

. . . of Huskies.

Way to go, Beavs.

AND EVEN STUPIDER NOISES FROM DOWN SOUTH
Let me show you a clip of a story from the Arizona Daily Star that made me spew Cheerios all over my monitor.

Cats help prep USC for facing Oregon's Blur
Maybe there's a slight advantage in the schedule - that USC played the Arizona Wildcats' fast-paced offense the week before Oregon's mighty Blur.

"It'd be like in baseball, when the day after you faced a fastball pitcher, you're facing another fastball pitcher," USC coach Lane Kiffin said about the Ducks' no-huddle offense.

"It's not a huge thing, but I think there's something to that."

After losing to the Wildcats 39-36, USC will take any edge in can get.

OK, Kiffin, so after losing to AZ, you will be playing the team that beat them 49-0. But it's all good because AZ and Oregon kind of play the same.

And you know what? New Jersey experienced a blustery day a week before Sandy hit. So ya, one could say they were kind of ready, only in a "not hardly at all" sort of way.

Fastball pitcher? Coach Kiffin, your team is about to face a Gattling gun.

Allow me to try not to bore you with some stats. According to this same article, Oregon's defense gives up 19.38 points per game. USC gives up 19.5 points.

Oregon allows 351 yards to their opponent per game. USC allows 366.

That looks pretty even, doesn't it? But for anyone who has watched Oregon play, what is the one glaring asterisk next to their stats?

You know it. The large bulk of opponents' points and yards have come in the second half against Oregon's second, third and fourth string after the game has been decided.

That is not the case with USC. With scholarship restrictions and injuries, plus the fact that they just can't blow very many teams out,  the starters play into the fourth quarter on both sides of the ball.

Had Oregon left it's starters in to run up the score while keeping other opponents scoreless, the world would already know what should be made clear tomorrow.

Hurricane Oregon is powerful enough to completely destroy USC.

But will we see that happen?  It would be an amazing thing to behold, if Chip Kelly will allow it.

Looks like Reign.

DUCKS NEED NEW APPROACH TO REMAINDER OF SEASON

Here are the facts.

Fact 1: Oregon manhandled ASU, and got passed up by Kansas State in the BCS.

Fact 2: The Ducks clobbered Colorado and got passed again in the BCS, this time by Notre Dame.

Fact 3: Lane Kiffin, USC, and a lot of other people across the country still believe the Trojans can hang with Oregon, maybe even pull the upset.

The problem? It's been made pretty clear that Oregon hasn't played any significant ranked teams. Add to that the fact that once Oregon gets an insurmountable lead at halftime, Kelly throttles back and pulls the starters, coasting to a win.

I don't fault that one bit. The final score is not so important to risk unnecessary injuries. That is, perhaps until now.

For all the buildup to this game, legitimate or not, everyone will be paying attention. USC is still Oregon's biggest foe to date (I say "to date" out of respect to Oregon State, but don't get all geeked up Beavs, you still dumped a stinky one last week.).

Coach Kelly, it's time to pull the chocks away from this fighter jet. It's time to fire the cylinders and blow the soot out of this hot rod engine. It's time to move this horse from the short oval to the long straight.

No more easing back and jogging across the finish line. No more collecting hit points for a judges decision. Because you know what? The judges aren't giving you the decisions you want.

Although it's a great mantra, don't just "Win the Day" anymore. Don't just win the game.

Win every quarter. Win every drive. Let's see what this team can do when they are free to do it to the final buzzer.

And not just for USC. Let the Ducks finish out the season that way. Let their dominance be made so clear that even the BCS computers can see it. Sway some swing voters and some of their 60 first place votes away from Alabama.

Bud Withers of the Seattle Times basically says the same thing here as he suggests Oregon should "lay it on USC and Stanford" because they are mutual opponents of Oregon and Notre Dame.

THE USC HYPE ENDS HERE
Since that upset last season, USC has been a biting bug on the Ducks' butts. Yes they have QB Matt Barkley and his two great receivers Robert Woods and Marqise Lee. They resemble the great pass-and-catch trios of Montana, Rice and Clark or Marino, Duper and Clayton.

Those three played perfect football through the first half last year in Eugene. Then USC hung on for dear life in the second to win 38-35.

This year is going to be different. This R-G article talks of one player, defensive back Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, but might as well be characterizing the entire defense as stronger, more experienced and better.

Furthermore, the bad news for USC's win last year was that they gave Nick Aliotti a firsthand look, valuable game film and a better team with which approach the rematch. And history shows us a lot of Pac-10/12 teams who successfully got by Alliotti's defense . . . . once.

On the offense, Mariota, Barner, DAT, Lyerla, and the starting receivers -- I hope Kelly keeps them on the field through to the end of the game AND the season with one mission in mind.

I'll let the following video convey this new mission -- a new mantra. "Win the Day" got us to this point. Now, starting at the L.A. Coliseum, let Oregon take the next step . . . .

Crank the volume, then listen to at least 39 seconds to get the full ....uhhh, gist. You're welcome to shut it off after that. . . . .if you want. Otherwise, have fun and get into it. Stand on your desk and heave your chair out the door.



Although this music may not be for everyone, some might enjoy it. Take Beaver Coach Mike Riley, for example.

Whoa, that was FAR OUT!  I could have used that last week.
What key was that in? OK, let's give it a whirl here...
"Destroy everything, like a steamroller baby,
a burnin' churnin' heap of destroyin' funk.
Cause that's why I'm here, oh ya,
Walkin' down that country road...
and destroyin' everything I see....
la la la laaa la la...."

Oregon at USC gametime: Saturday, 4pm Pacific on FOX.